Hillsdale professors are in danger. That is, if Niedfeldt chooses any of them for the spiciest festivity of the year.
For five years, the men of Niedfeldt Residence have hosted Hillsdale Hot Ones, a parody of the popular online interview show “Hot Ones,” in which host Sean Evans interviews celebrity guests while they eat increasingly spicy chicken wings. Niedfeldt hosts professors, using many of the same sauces from the show, such as DaBomb and The Last Dab. The yearly event doubles as a fundraiser for Helping Hands Pregnancy Resource Center.
This year, Teacher of Collaborative Piano Daniel Kuehler and Associate Professor of Philosophy Ian Church accepted the challenge in Plaster Auditorium, ready to conquer the heat while juniors Jonah Starr and Head Resident Assistant of Niedfeldt Nick Rutkoski asked questions about academics, life, and misadventures.
Kuehler told a story about a piano teacher he never learned anything from and referred to as “Mr. Lazy.” Church explained his challenges with direction, recounting a time he ended up on a ferry while traveling to another state. By the end of each interview, both professors had sweat cascading down their foreheads, but the pain didn’t stop either of them from participating in a final challenge.
For Kuehler, it was an energetic piano mashup of popular songs such as “Hot N Cold” by Katy Perry and “Great Balls of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis. For Church, it was benchpressing the bodyweight of Rutkoski — 155 lbs. He completed 40 reps.
The origin of Hillsdale Hot Ones lies with Harrison Layman ’25 and John Ritchey ’24. The two of them began the event in 2022, developing it throughout the years.
The first Hillsdale Hot Ones featured Associate Dean of Men Jeffery “Chief” Rogers, Professor of History Paul Moreno, and Assistant Professor of Medieval History Charles Yost. Since then, the event has dropped from three guests to two, with new sauces appearing each year.
“It’s a bit of a mortifying experience,” Rutkoski said. “Not only are you anxious about appearing put together in front of a crowd of people, but you’re also in extreme pain. I’m not joking when I say these hot sauces are like the pain of hell in your mouth. They’re the devil’s breath. The capsaicin Satan.”
Two sauces in particular taste like hellfire.
Anyone who watches the talk show on YouTube knows DaBomb and The Last Dab. These two sauces are infamous for causing guests to splutter, hiccup, and cry on camera.
Chili peppers are measured in Scoville units. The higher the Scoville, the hotter the pepper. Regular sriracha sauces found at the grocery store usually come out to around 1,000 Scoville units. DaBomb has 135,600, and The Last Dab has more than 2 million.
“‘DaBomb is absolutely disgusting,” Rutkoski said. “It’s gross because there’s no redeeming quality about it. It’s just pain with no enjoyable taste.”
Daniel Lo, a sophomore and resident assistant in Niedfeldt, agreed.
“As soon as you finish saying ‘it’s not that bad,’ it hits you,” Lo said. “It spreads across your mouth and immobilizes your tongue. You can feel it traveling down your stomach and through your freaking digestive tract. Sometimes, it even radiates into your spine.”
Junior K.C. Gaudet praised the event for improving each year.
“I really wanted to see Dr. Church actually bench Nick, but the equivalent weight is pretty good, too,” Gaudet said. “This event is the most convincing reason for me to try and become a professor at Hillsdale. I just want to participate in the event.”
On Feb. 26, Gaudet did a photoshoot to begin promotion for “Hillsdale Hot Ones.” Pasted around campus were photos of Niedfeldt residents in sunglasses and unbuttoned shirts — a humorous way to blend the concept of “hotness” with the “Hot Ones” name.
“The hype is epic,” junior and Niedfeldt Resident Assistant Zac Briley said. “We go around and film with the professors. I got to spot Dr. Church while he bench pressed 405 lbs. To spot any man at 405 is epic, but especially Dr. Church.”
While the event serves as campus entertainment, Niedfeldt donates all proceeds to Helping Hands.
“This is our dorm’s philanthropy event,” Rutkoski said. “We really care about the unborn. It’s a pretty pertinent issue, so it’s a very relevant cause to give to.”
In addition to using the event for a good cause, Niedfeldt views “Hot Ones” as a chance to bring the dorm together and forge stronger culture.
“Each year, we’re able to make it our own,” Lo said. “It started out as Harrison’s dream, and we’ve been able to take it further. It makes me very proud to be a Niedfeldt RA, knowing that this is something that someone built, and that they’re confident enough to let us bring it forward.”
