Shrauben’s favorite animal in fourth grade was a panda.
Courtesy | Alex Schrauben

Alex Scrauben is a senior English major from Goodrich, Michigan. She serves as a member of the Student Ministry Board and was a New Dorm RA for two years. 

What’s a fun fact about you?

I have dwarf thumbs. They are very strong, and I’ve never lost a thumb-wrestling competition with them because they’re so sturdy, and everyone in middle school and high school called me Stubs.

What’s your dream job?

A florist. It’s such a reasonable and manageable dream job. So I don’t know why I’m not just doing that, but I think it would just be one of the loveliest jobs ever because all the customer service is for really big celebrations or hard times, and you get to be a middleman.

What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever tried?

This is not a weird food but it’s a weird food story. For a year and a half, I ate exclusively, with a few exceptions, oatmeal, salmon, and frozen organic cherries.

What’s your favorite thing about New Dorm?

I think everyone loves Simpson because it lets boys just really be boys and make dumb decisions in, most of the time, safe ways. I got to just be a girl in New Dorm. In a place that’s so focused on being serious and being taken seriously, where we’re intellectuals, and we’re cool and nonchalant, New Dorm is the least nonchalant place I’ve ever been in my life. It was just a wonderful excuse to scream and dance and wear bright colors and not have any shame about it, and to say, ‘I actually don’t care if this means that people take me less seriously.’

Do you play any instruments?

Tragically, no, unless you count the piano lessons my grandma gave me in second grade, which you shouldn’t. I was in competitive dance growing up, so that was my primary creative discipline. Learning piano (beyond the intro to Adele’s “Someone Like You”) is number one at the top of my bucket list though. 

What’s your favorite smell and why?

My favorite non-perfume smell is the steam from laundry. To die for. 

What’s the first childhood memory that comes to mind?

Off the top of my head, probably the time that I slipped in my literal slippers during Christmas pajama day in second grade and smashed my face on the concrete. My nose immediately started to bleed, and my principal rolled me down to the office in my teacher’s rolling chair while everyone was at their lockers. I felt like a parade was being thrown for me. I truly hate to admit it, but along with absolutely eating the floor, I ate up the attention. 

If you could make one creature on Earth extinct right now, what would it be? 

I’m generally a fan of creation, but if I had to pick one I’d say giant water bugs. They are terrifying. They stab, liquify, and drink frogs, fish, snakes, and turtles, which is super sick and totally flips the food chain on its head. They are also known to bite human toes.

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve stayed awake?

Probably around 40 hours. For Great Books I with Dr. Jackson, I decided to completely rewrite a paper we were supposed to just revise because my first attempt was that bad. I slept for 18 hours straight afterward.

What is something from college you always think “what if…” about? 

WHIP. I never wanted to leave my friends at Hillsdale, but it sounds like a fabulous opportunity and a lovely community.