Fortune favors the bold in Land Battle.
Ty Ruddy | Collegian
The roar could be heard from Central Hall. The thuds of bodies hitting snowy ground and the unmistakable clang of battle: foam on foam. Last Wednesday Jan. 28 was Land Battle, an annual clash during which the men of campus wield PVC wrapped in pool noodles and unleash on one another the barbarism suppressed by a liberal arts education.
“We can read all we want about virtue and heroes, but what’s the use if all that just stays on the page?” junior Austin Piecuch asked. “Now, people would laugh that I’m comparing wrestling in the snow to the feats of literary heroes, but why not? It’s hard to be out there when it’s so cold, and yet some show up even without a shirt.”
Traditionally, the men of campus meet on the north quad to duke it out for Land Battle in the winter each year. Construction forced a relocation, so the men’s residences stormed the field across from the College Park Townhomes.
It would hardly be a battle without a rally cry. It’s true in “Braveheart,” and it’s true on Hillsdale’s campus. Simpson Residence’s William Wallace was senior and co-Head Resident Assistant Jonathan Williams.
“The pregame speech is to get the boys riled up,” Williams said. “We take pride in who we are as Simpson and the pivotal role we have on this campus.”
Piecuch said he also poured his heart out to his brothers before they took to battle.
“I reminded our boys that we are the heartbeat of culture on this campus,” Piecuch said. “And I reminded them that we were going out to keep that culture alive.”
But Simpson does not have a monopoly on pride, according to junior Dylan Glover, a resident assistant at Whitley Residence.
“We had 29 guys show up from our dorm,” Glover said. “That’s nearly 60% of everyone who lives there.”
Land Battle was broken into three rounds of two minutes each. As with any battle, strategy plays a big part. Glover said Whitley saved certain participants for certain rounds. Glover himself is a veteran of rounds two and three. There’s not much Homeric banter during Land Battle, Glover said. It’s mainly violence and intimidation.
“I battled a fella — who shall remain nameless — for most of round two. At the end though, I finally got my hands on him and dropped him. He got the wind knocked out of him,” Glover said. “He dodged me in round three.”
After three rounds of dorm-wide battle, the men gathered in a circle for one-on-one wrestling matches amid shouts of contempt from the women of the Townhomes.
“Land Battle is a great way to think about both the strength of each dorm as an individual and the strength of Hillsdale as a united campus,” Williams said. “Once we all wrestle, we unite as Hillsdale men, and it’s awesome.”
But the shouts of conflict died away momentarily when the sirens blared. According to Williams, the Hillsdale police and campus security were told that men were hitting each other with baseball bats. Williams assured the attending officer that there were no weapons more harmful than a duct tape sword.
“Then beat the shit out of each other, hell yeah,” the officer said. Cries of approval resounded from the fighters.
Any other year, the wrestling matches would have ended the battle. But there was unfinished business. Galloway did not show. The other dorms had no choice but to conduct an impromptu raid.
“Even the Suites had five guys show up. There are a lot of rumors around campus that dorm culture is dying over at Galloway, and this certainly seemed to give some credence to those rumors,” Piecuch said. “But the fact that every dorm marched and raided Galloway after the fact made me very proud and hopeful that dorm culture will persist. It was a moment where dorm divisions disappeared.”
The Galloweigans holed up, even against the chants of every other dorm. They did, however, pour water from their windows, Piecuch said.
Still, according to Piecuch, Land Battle was a success and a chance to learn valuable lessons.
“It’s a battle of wills out there in the unforgiving cold and whoever has more heart to fight will often win,” Piecuch said. “Unless the other guy was a state champ in high school, then you’re cooked.”
