Hillsdale College is known for its strong campus culture, much of which was built by a plethora of shared jokes. From the effects of dining hall food on the digestive system to Hillsdale College President Larry Arnn’s perpetual search for the good to reflections on the phenomenon of Hillsdating, no topic is free from attack. Hillsdale’s culture of satirical wit may have reached its peak in an early 2000s Collegian section called the Backpage.
The Backpage, usually captioned “Michigan’s funkiest adventure” (to parody the Collegian’s oft touted phrase “Michigan’s oldest college newspaper”), housed satirical and comedic articles, images, and recurring bits. Some of the latter were the overheard Hillsdale section, featuring cheeky quotes from students and faculty, and news bytes, which contained humorous takes on current events both on campus and throughout the world. It was in print from 2000 to 2002, and was a revival of the Collegian’s first satire stint in the early 90s.
Each issue of the Backpage tended to center around an overall theme, like St. Patrick’s Day, Greek life, a Hillsdale themed mad-lib, and the overwhelming population of homeschoolers on campus. Some themed pages even had alternate headers, such as a Christian themed page entitled The Holydale Backpage: Michigan’s Most Spiritual College Newspaper. One unique issue called the Face Page had two cut-out masks of then Provost Robert Blackstock and President Larry Arnn. Beside the masks was a list of activities to do once adequately disguised, such as sneak into Broadlawn to raid the fridge and “do Provosty stuff.”
A particular recurring gag of the Backpage was Cap’n Arrn, a comedic, pirate-themed spin on the name of our beloved president— then new to the college. The nickname was so prevalent that, besides earning frequent mentions on the Backpage, there was even an incident in which a jolly roger flag was placed on Central Hall. Backpage contributor Bill Gray, 2001 Hillsdale graduate and current associate vice president of national donor outreach for the college, denies any responsibility on behalf of the Collegian for this event. According to Gray, far from angering President Arnn, these jokes actually made him and his family feel more welcome in Hillsdale. Gray said, “The Backpage made them feel welcome, like they were part of the family.”
The Backpage project was headed by a group of Collegian reporters who called themselves the “Think Tank” consisting of students Joel Schellhammer, Lucas Miller, Joshua Walton, Ben Courtney, Billy Gray, and J.D. Rowland, also known as “The Beaver.” All were 2001 grads aside from Rowland who graduated in 2002. Each issue of the Backpage featured a list of Think Tank contributors, typically with nicknames, corresponding to the week’s theme. For example, in a November 2000 Greek life themed issue, the Think Tank included figures such as Josh the Spartan, Billy Prince of Thebes, and Ben the Sophist, along with Cap’n Arnn and his band of merry men.
In 2011, a 10-year anniversary page was published entitled the “We’re Back Page.” Geriatric Joel, Last Gasp Luke, Wrinkled Willy, Dirty Old Ben, Jitterbug Josh, and JD the Gummy Beaver came together to poke fun at their alma mater one more time. They thanked Hillsdale for, “changing so little we can still make fun of it 10 years later.” A prominent bit on the decennial Backpage featured a chart of how alumni donations are distributed. Allegedly, a significant amount of funds are delegated to a 10% tithe to Rush Limbaugh, wicker furniture for the faculty lounge, and Dr. Arnn’s honor code tattoo. Keep this noble cause in mind when Hillsdale requests donations from you post-grad. Gray said the old Think Tank is considering a 20-year anniversary Backpage this fall, so keep your eyes peeled.
Though the Backpage may just seem like a paper predecessor to today’s Hillsdale meme pages, it is a shining example of the creativity-filled history of the college and its students.
