The decision to take a spouse’s last name should be a conversation — not a foregone conclusion.
A majority of American women still choose to take their husband’s last name when they get married. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, 79% of women in heterosexual marriages took their husband’s last name, compared to just 14% who kept their last name and 5% who hyphenated their last names.
But unmarried Americans are not so convinced. In the same survey, just 33% of never-married women said they would take their husband’s last name versus 23% who said they would not, 24% who were unsure, and 17% who would hyphenate their last names.
The tradition of taking a husband’s last name dates back to English common law. In 1765, England officially codified coverture — the legal practice of treating a husband and wife as a single person, giving the husband the most authority over any legal or financial decision facing the household. A wife’s lack of rights and responsibilities justified sharing her husband’s name.
Today, husbands and wives are distinct legal persons. Reasons for adopting a husband’s last name have changed. Common reasons can include wanting to make sure children all have the same last name, wanting to feel closer to one’s husband, and feeling no special connection to a birth name.
Some Christians might also argue that taking a husband’s last name honors God’s command in Genesis 2:24 to “become one flesh.” However, this is a better case for hyphenating or combining their last names, as those are closer to true union than taking one spouse’s last name.
The decision is more difficult for some women than others. Senior Heather Hobson is engaged to 2023 graduate Chris Dick. They plan to both take the last name “Dickson” as a compromise.
“Thinking of your future children should be an important consideration,” Hobson said.
Hobson also acknowledged the humor in her situation.
“I think you should have all your friends vote and decide for you,” Hobson said.
Dick had a slightly different philosophy.
“The funnier last name wins — unless the hyphen makes it funnier,” Dick said.
No matter the circumstances, couples should consider their options. Men should not be stigmatized for taking their wife’s last name. In situations where couples want to share a last name but can’t decide whose to take, they could even create a merged name or adopt a separate name — such as a mother’s maiden name.
The result does not matter so much as the process to reach it. So long as a couple broaches the subject and reaches a decision that works best for both of them and any future children, they are making the right decision.
There is nothing wrong with men or women changing their name or not changing their name after marriage — but it should be their decision.
Nathan “Stanish” is a senior studying religion.
