“They don’t even like each other.”

If you’ve been on this campus long enough, you’ve probably heard this about a couple or two. This means either a bunch of couples on this campus stay together for no reason, or the students here watch other people’s relationships as if they were on a reality-television show — or both. 

I’ve had my fair share of friends say pretty awful things about their partners. I recently heard a man call his girlfriend just about the worst thing you can call a woman to a group of his friends. They’re engaged now. 

What’s the point of being with someone if you don’t like that person? This isn’t rhetorical. I’m genuinely wondering if there is one. 

There’s a lot of pressure on this campus to get engaged if you’ve been dating for more than, say, six months. But, when people give into this idea without thinking it through, they usually become one of famous cautionary tales students talk about for years later. 

“Did you hear so-and-so broke off the engagement? It was only a month before the wedding — what a shame.”

Don’t be a cautionary tale. 

Ending an unhappy relationship benefits both partners — even if one of them is really invested. If you’re unhappy with your partner, there’s someone out there who would love that person better than you can, even if it hurts them to hear that in the moment. 

The second half of this issue is everyone outside of any given relationship. I’ve been guilty of talking about other people and their partners behind their backs. It’s a small campus, and it’s fun to talk — but it doesn’t do anything. Gossiping isn’t going to make anyone break up. It’s just going to make them mad at you.

There’s a difference between being a concerned friend and spewing rumors about a relationship you’re not involved in and don’t understand. It’s perfectly fine to talk about the boyfriend or girlfriend who treats your friends poorly, but you have to do so with the right people. Talk to the person in question about your concerns, not to anyone who’s willing to listen to your rant at an A.J.’s table. 

I think there are a lot of wonderful couples on this campus — case in point, my own. But if you or your friends’ relationships don’t fall into that category, it might be time for some tough conversations.

This is one of the most highschool-y problems we have at this college, and it’s annoying, so let’s all agree to either break up or shut up.