Children should not be separated from their mother, and yet this is at the core of the surrogacy industry.
Birth is not when the bond between a mother and baby begins. It is a continuation of a bond that began at the baby’s conception. By the time the baby is born, he recognizes his mother’s voice and the sound of her heartbeat. The warmth of her body is a place of comfort and security. Surrogacy places the wants of a couple longing for a child over the needs of the child who is being taken away from all he has ever known, oftentimes leading to a more complicated birth which can endanger the mother and child. This separation could follow them all of their life.
There are two different types of surrogates, traditional and gestational. A traditional surrogate gets artificially inseminated with the father’s sperm, which fertilizes an egg from the surrogate mother herself. Donor sperm can be used as well. The surrogate then gives up her biological child for the designated couple to raise.
A gestational surrogate is one who grows a baby from the embryonic stage, via in vitro fertilization. Despite the fact that the child has no biological relation to the surrogate, there is still a deep emotional and physical bond that is formed while the baby is in the womb.
Surrogacy can bring about many detrimental complications for both the surrogate and the baby. According to fertilityandsterility.org, a surrogate birth has significantly higher obstetrical complications including gestational diabetes, hypertension, placenta previa, and Cesarean section. Some of these complications are life threatening for the mother and baby, such as placenta previa.
On top of the complications for the surrogate, there are also many risks involving the baby. Children born from a surrogate pregnancy are likely to have low birth weight and are at an increased risk for stillbirth, according to fertilityandsterility.org. Children born via traditional surrogacy are ripped away from their biological mother at birth, depriving them of getting to know the only safe and comforting home they have ever known. Birth is supposed to be a continuation of the bond between mother and baby, not the end of it. When a child is born via gestational surrogacy, they still suffer a grave consequence despite there being no biological relation. The baby recognizes the surrogate as its mother, whether or not the genes support that. When the baby hears the voice of the surrogate, he recognizes it as a place of safety and belonging. The heartbeat of the surrogate is enough to calm the baby with the confusion of making the transition from womb to world. However, surrogacy allows the child to be separated from its birth mother and placed into the arms of someone foreign to the baby.
According to Southern Surrogacy LLC, one of the top surrogacy agencies in North Carolina, being a gestational surrogate is much more than a medical procedure, but rather a personal journey that comes with emotional risk. Gestational surrogates can experience depression, difficult and confusing feelings of loss at the end of the process, and tension with their families, according to Southern Surrogacy. “The risks of surrogacy are real,” says Southern Surrogacy’s website to prospective surrogates.
Surrogate.com also emphasized how the emotional risks of a surrogate pregnancy are heightened because of the separation of mother and child at the end of the pregnancy.
A woman’s body should never be used as a commodity. Many times women will agree to be a surrogate because they are struggling financially and surrogacy seems like an easy fix. According to West Coast Surrogacy, a surrogate can be paid as much as $75,000. But a surrogate birth is much riskier than a natural birth, and many women are not fully aware of the risks when agreeing to be a surrogate. Just because something can be done, should it?
An article published by National Review exposed the realities of surrogacy and its extreme risks. The article told the story of Michellel Reaves, a wife and mother of two, who died while giving birth as a surrogate. It was the second time she served as a surrogate, yet despite her past experience, she left behind a husband and two children who will grow up without a mother.
Many people argue that surrogacy is morally right because it is similar to adoption. However, this statement could not be more false. Surrogacy causes separation between a mother and baby, whereas adoption is a response to the separation. Adoption is a selfless act that puts the child first, whereas surrogacy places the needs over the couple wanting a child over the needs of the child being brought into the world. Adoption solves the problem that is at hand, whereas surrogacy creates the problem. The two cannot be compared.
Infertility is a grave and tragic matter. Some people dream of raising a family their entire lives, and it can be heart shattering for a couple to receive the news that their dream may never come true. But one must accept this hard truth: having children is not something anyone is entitled to. Raising a child is the most selfless thing a person can do. We must realize that parenting is about fulfilling the needs of the child, and giving them the best life possible. There is no room for selfishness in this decision. How can one provide the best life for their child when the first thing they do is rip them away from their birth mother? The mother that created a whole new organ, the placenta, for her baby. The mother who went through intense labor, morning sickness, anxiety, and the aftermath of birth which can be rather unpleasant, and even traumatic. Both parties deserve better.
There is no need to put two people’s lives in danger when there are thousands of children who are longing to be adopted. Politicians will tell you that opposition to surrogacy is only meant to hinder LGBTQ couples from raising a child with a biological relation to the parents. This claim completely ignores the real issue at hand: women are unnecessarily dying in the name of an extra buck. Children are being stripped away from their mother, suffering from a primal wound that nothing can heal. It is time to put politics aside and take a stand for morality. Stop renting out women’s bodies.
