You think a pancake is the waffle’s bastard brother?
Waffles are pancakes with just a single added ingredient—and it’s a bad one. Maybe the waffle is the bastard after all.
Take a look at the timeless Bisquick mix box. On the back, recipes for pancakes and waffles include Bisquick mix, milk, and eggs, but the waffles include one more item—vegetable oil.
That means pancakes are healthier than waffles. Vegetable oils are rich in omega 6, which causes accelerated growth of cancer cells, blood clotting, and increased inflammation, according to the TIME Health and Nutrition section. A few tablespoons in your waffle won’t kill you now, but next time you eat one, this will be in the back of your mind.
Our next argument to debunk is the “architectural benefit” of the waffle. What’s the biggest problem with the shape of the waffle? It’s stuck like that.
Pancakes, on the other hand, are flexible. You can make pigs in a blanket by dipping sausages in pancake batter, or like my little sister, simply wrap your sausage in an already-made pancake. It’s a balanced ratio of sausage and pancake, and the perfect size to dip in syrup.
Pancakes are also quite sophisticated because you can make pancake art. Waffles are stuck in their form, but you can make all sorts of shapes and sizes of pancakes on the griddle. Next time you’re bored, fill a squeeze bottle with batter and see what you can design.
Now it’s true, some pancakes soak up syrup like it’s nobody’s business, but this isn’t always the case.
Homemade pancakes cooked on a stovetop or griddle will naturally have a harder, thicker finish on the bottom of the pancake. Simply flip the pancake over and use the harder side to butter up. Or if you love butter-infused pancakes, douse that bad boy. No one is going to judge you—except the waffle.
Logically, waffles get just as soggy as pancakes, especially Eggo waffles. We all grew up chowing on Eggos to Saturday morning cartoons, but let’s face it. It’s just toasted dough in the shape of a waffle. Eggos are far from your deluxe Belgium waffle.
Now if I wanted something crunchy for breakfast, I would pick toast. Never in my life have I eaten a waffle and said, “Wow! That crunch is something else!” If your waffle is crunchy, it’s burnt. Try again.
How many times have you filled waffle pockets with butter chunks, for all the butter to spill out over the edges when you pour syrup over it? Maybe it’s just me, but I like it when butter, peanut butter, and jam stays on the pancake, not outside of it.
No one in their right mind would dump chocolate chips onto waffles and pancakes. At that point, you’re eating hard chocolate and chewy dough. You always cook chocolate chips inside the batter, and pancakes are the perfect host for this.
You can fill pancakes with chocolate chips, sprinkles, and any kind of fruit. Plus, if you cook the fruit into the batter, the result is a beautiful berry compote right inside the cake. Get those “puckered” waffle pockets out of here.
Most hotels, and even Saga, make pancakes for you. No need to wait 10 years for your waffle to cook. Grab those hotcakes and get to work. Plus, Saga only sets out the non-gluten free waffle machine on weekdays. If you’re looking for a waffle for brunch on the weekend, forget about it.
Finally, don’t overcomplicate the pancake griddle problem—all you need is a regular stovetop pan, which is far easier to find than waffle makers. I bet your dorm has more pans than waffle makers.
Though the waffle may cringe at its blood brother, there’s no escaping the fact that the pancake came first. They’ve been around since Ancient Greece. No matter how many countries try to distort the original recipe, if it’s good enough for the Greeks, it’s good enough for me.