Laughter filled a packed Plaster Auditorium March 4 as faculty members took the stage for the first-ever Faculty Revue talent show, hosted by the Student Activities Board.
Professor of History Ken Calvert, the event’s host, began with stand-up comedy, which he did many years ago.
“It was 1988 the last time I did this sort of stuff,” he said. “I haven’t done a stand-up since then, outside of class.”
First up, Professor of Philosophy and Religion Nathan Schlueter played his guitar and his banjo, which he jokingly called “The Terror of Delp Hall,” while his wife, Elizabeth, harmonized. They played songs like “Ruby” by Dave Rawlings Machine Band, and bluegrass, Appalachian-style folk song “Cripple Creek.”
“They say behind every teacher is a rockstar wannabe,” Schlueter said.
They finished their set with “Hard Times” by Gillian Welch, a “clawhammer style” piece they often played during the COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns.
”We are going to make it to the end of the road. / Singing hard times ain’t gonna rule my mind no more,” they sang.
Calvert returned with more standup comedy. Having forgotten where he put his schedule, he threw many napkins and paper out of his pocket, before sending a roll of toilet paper flying into the audience.
Next, he called up Chair and Professor of Art Barbara Bushey, Assistant Professor of Art Julio Suarez, and Teacher of Art Brian Shaw for a game of Pictionary.
“Where’s my Sharpie?” Suarez said.
Suarez drew numerous pictures for Bushey and Shaw to guess, based on words and phrases like “honk,” “Dante’s ‘Inferno,’” and “Star Wars.”
In response to the prompt “your self-portrait,” Suarez drew an exaggerated image of himself with huge muscles. Shaw guessed the answer correctly.
“He’s seen me at the gym,” Suarez said.
Next, Assistant Professor of Philosophy Ian Church told entertaining stories, like his encounter with the Italian mafia in St. Louis, and when his kids offended a whole Scottish church congregation in Edinburgh.
Finally, Associate Professor of Theology Jordan Wales and Visiting Assistant Professor of History Miles Smith IV took part in several improvisation skits. After starting out as Batman and Robin, SAB tasked the duo with reenacting a film noir scene on a train when a dead body had just been found.
With subtle jazz saxophone music in the background, Wales and Smith acted in character as the audience perpetually laughed at their jokes.
Finally, Smith and Wales had to create an infomercial about a product that eliminates body odor using obscure items like a lampshade and a dust cleaner.
“This is really gross,” Wales said, laughing.
The show closed with Calvert rapping to the beat of a live bass player.
Riley Arlinghaus ’21, assistant director of SAB, said there were more than 300 people in attendance.
“We were very happy to bring together different parts of campus and loved seeing students come that don’t frequent SAB events,” she said. “It was awesome to see both the attendees and the participating professors enjoy the show so much.”
She said despite several last-minute changes to the program in the days leading up to the event, SAB was happy with how it turned out.
“The SAB team put in a lot of creative effort to pull the event together,” she said.
Arlinghaus said the AV department also deserves credit for rolling with changes and making the event look and sound fantastic. She especially thanked the professors for making the event happen.
“We couldn’t have done it without confident, talented, and witty professors,” she said.
Senior Eli Kwong said the event was an absolute blast and a much-needed break from midterms. He also said it was a good chance to see the professors’ less serious side, which was amusing and sweet.
“It was a good reminder that our professors are just normal people with families, hobbies, and a desire to have a good laugh. Seeing them on stage making a fool of themselves just made me love them even more,” Kwong said. “This event really seemed to unify the campus, and I hope it becomes a yearly tradition.”
