For weeks we faced it. Heart-shaped candy in every storefront. Roses at every table. Red clothing as far as the eye can see. For some, this is a welcome sign of Valentine’s Day. For others, this is a trigger for what experts refer to as Singleness-Affective Disorder.
If you are like most Americans, you’ve probably never heard of SAD. In a casual study conducted in the Hillsdale College Student Union, 100% of participants said they had “no experience” with the term, some going so far as to call it a made-up ripoff of a real disorder.
Despite claims to the contrary from know-it-all college students, SAD is a real problem. Every year, millions of Americans dread Feb. 14 as a reminder of their singleness. It’s akin to being British on July 4, being not-Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, or being gluten-free on National Donut’s Day; you feel betrayed and left out.
In the hopes of reversing this dangerous national trend, here are three expert tips on how to avoid inflicting SAD on your friends, especially around a season of sickening relationship saturation.
The first step to stop the spread of SAD is avoiding all signs of affection between you and any significant other, especially on holidays associated with relationships. Valentine’s Day can be particularly difficult because of an institutional tendency to make this holiday about relationships and date nights.
The best way to battle this harmful assumption is to not celebrate the holiday at all. Max Kinney, a recovering single, modeled this behavior on Valentine’s Day by deliberately not going on a date.
“I recognize that single people can’t go on dates. Valentine’s Day creates a pressure for people to ask a person out on a date, but girls don’t want to be asked out on a date unless they’re in a relationship already,” Kinney said.
The second step to stopping the spread of SAD is showing your single friends the same affection you might show your significant other. Let all your friends know they are loved.
Greg Moreno, a single with exemplary empathy for his fellow singles, explained how he stays positive and makes an impact on Valentine’s Day.
“I’d rather be single on Valentine’s Day. I woke up today and I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day,” he said. “If I were dating someone, I wouldn’t give that person a rose, but I’d give a bunch of single people roses.”
The third step to stopping the spread of SAD is standing up against the bigoted, heartless, taken people in the world who constantly perpetuate ridiculous single stereotypes.
Jacob Fox, spokesperson for the hate group “Get a Life Anti-Daters” (GLAD), produces some of the most alarming anti-single rhetoric present in today’s culture. According to Fox, the reasons for SAD go deeper than simple life choices.
“All of the people who are dating are obviously just intrinsically better people,” Fox said in a recent statement. “Single people are just generally unattractive and uninteresting.”
People like Fox are a cancer to society and should not be tolerated on any day of the year. The best thing you can do for your single friends is to cut him and those like him out of your life and surround yourself with better people who understand the plight singles face.
Organizations like GLAD might make the mission of eliminating SAD seem like an impossible task, especially considering how deeply the assumption of relationships is entrenched into the holiday of Valentine’s Day, but don’t lose hope.
Next year, let’s make it our goal to stop SAD, eliminate GLAD, and remind singles everywhere of the wonderful life there is to be had in singleness.