Students flip out about flip phones

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Cousins Benjamin and Marie Raffin enjoy looking at a flip phone. Collegian | Olivia Hajicek
Cousins Benjamin and Marie Raffin enjoy looking at a flip phone. Collegian | Olivia Hajicek
Cousins Benjamin and Marie Raffin enjoy looking at a flip phone.
Collegian | Olivia Hajicek

While junior Ian Calvert’s preferred method of communication would be snail mail, a flip phone is his next best option. He is one of many Hillsdale students who has opted to power off their iPhone in favor of a more flippable mobile device from a simpler, perhaps better, time. 

“I think the U.S. Postal Service would be a good alternative to cellphones,” Calvert said, “but, it’s really hard to communicate through that. Sadly, it’s too slow.”

Calvert takes federal spying more seriously than most, justly earning him the title of Hillsdale’s lead crusader against breaches of personal property. He switched to a flip phone to protect against potential data mining.

His selfie game since switching phones has taken a hit. 

“I used to be good at selfies,” he said, “but now I’m not.” 

It now takes Calvert an average of 15 minutes to send a text message due to having to press the numbers on his keypad up to three times to get his desired letter, and he will have to put in countless hours of selfie practice to get back to the quality he achieved in the past. 

Sophomore Sam Clyde, a proud flipper, plans to never own a smartphone at all. 

Clyde said he got a flip phone because his father forced him to get a mobile device sophomore year of high school, and a flip phone was his preferred option. 

Clyde provided a simple explanation for his aversion to cell phone ownership. 

“Why didn’t I want a phone?” Clyde said. “So I wouldn’t have to use one.” 

In one word, Clyde describes flip phone owners as “hip.” His favorite part of his flip phone is the distance it provides between himself and smartphone users. 

“I like that everybody knows that I have a flip phone, and so they don’t try to text me too much,” Clyde said. 

Clyde also said he feels his flip phone provides him with an unbreakable connection to America’s most iconic fictional libertarian. 

“Having a flip phone makes me feel like Ron Swanson,” he said. “Only his family could call him. I am similarly selective about which people may engage in communications with me via phone. That being said, no one could ever be on Ron Swanson’s level regarding that issue or any stance he had.”

Clyde also disclosed his stance on one of the most controversial aspects of flip phone ownership. 

“I am pro-velcro belt holder,” he bravely revealed. 

Freshman Libby Patrick unplugged for an entirely different reason than Calvert or Clyde. Once a smartphone owner, Patrick decided to make the flip to save time and better monitor her productivity. 

“I think I’m definitely less distracted,” she said, “because if I’m waiting in line or whatever I don’t have anything to look at.” 

She stuck her Hillsdale-issued ID holder on the back of her mobile device, providing her with all the convenience of a smartphone with none of the addictive qualities. 

Junior Marie Raffin received a flip phone from her parents her junior year of high school. She enjoys talking to former flip phone owners and flipping open her phone, though she misses smartphone amenities like Google Maps.

“People just like the nostalgia of it, and they look at it and they’re like, ‘Wow, I wish I had my old flip phone,’” Raffin said. 

Flip phones make life less complicated. In lieu of this, Hillsdale’s flippers shared similarly uncomplicated advice.

“Get a flip phone,” Patrick suggested. 

“Step up your game,” Calvert said. “Flip phone is the life.”