I stopped eating in the dining hall because of the piano.
Almost every evening in the Knorr Family Dining Room, several different performers show off their skills on the ivory keys. Like everyone, I appreciate the occasional tasteful piano accompaniment. There’s something truly elegant about consuming mushy broccoli to the soundtrack of “Pirates of the Caribbean” or “Game of Thrones.” But after hearing the same songs over and over for three months straight, the elegance begins to wear off.
I could maybe forgive this repetitiveness if the songs had an uplifting tone or added to the friendly atmosphere. But almost every single song has a depressing air rivaled only by the most pitiful break-up songs.
Maybe the pianists play dirges to combat the random spurts of applause that inevitably echo through the dining hall? Or maybe they’re playing these songs to mourn the quality of food in our beloved cafeteria? Or perhaps they’re hoping to drown out the cheery pop music that serenades those closest to the dessert table?
Regardless of their purpose, these songs put a damper on any potentially uplifting conversation. Instead of talking to my friends, I end up contemplating the ever-winding road of time that inevitably leads to death. Every piece of wilted lettuce in my salad becomes a confusing, half-baked metaphor about life.
Rather than withstand this melancholy-inducing serenade, I have chosen to avoid the dining hall altogether. I always take my meals out of the dining hall to eat in the silence of my dorm room or (if the weather is nice enough) in the sunshine-filled great outdoors.
Don’t get me wrong, I applaud the talent, dedication, and bravery that have led to these pianists sharing their art with the world. But after months and months of the same songs, the beauty fades to a vague shadow of what it once was.
While I do think depressing piano music dampens the mood, I don’t think we should abolish the piano entirely. But there are so many options in the world of music. Why stay limited to such tragic performances?
Perhaps these pianists could play an uplifting battle march or a riveting rock song to rouse the hearts and minds of work-laden students. They could play Disney songs or musical numbers, or instrumental renditions of pop songs to lift our spirits. Or they could play classical music or jazz or any other type of music, really.
We should banish dirges from the dining hall and bring in the new soundtrack. There is so much about life that is difficult, but we don’t need to be reminded of that difficulty while eating pizza or hamburgers. Although there is a time and place for sad music, a college cafeteria is not the best place to constantly perform disheartening pieces. We want to converse and enjoy a break from school, not mourn the passing of life and time.
New music would allow us to appreciate these pianists’ talents while still enjoying our food. My fellow diners and I could enjoy our food without contemplating ridiculous analogies, and the joy of life could return to campus. I would gladly return to dine-in eating at the cafeteria if these musicians changed their musical approach.
Set us free from these beautiful but depressing songs! We only get to have dinner once a day. Let us enjoy our pasta in peace.
Lillian Tweten is a sophomore studying politics.
