“I Wish I Were a Little Boy”
The strangely titled vinyl record clung to the front door, an odd tribute to the occupant inside. Sitting at his desk, junior Josh Hamilton edited a picture he took “somewhere out by the baseball fields.” Dressed in a Hillsdale athletics T-shirt and blue jeans, he swapped his wet shoes for a pair of Nikes.
Hamilton is not going to graduate from Hillsdale College. The first semester junior is forgoing a framed certificate for his childhood dream. His first success came the summer after his freshman year, when he made, “Near Gunnison Valley,” a documentary on a secluded Colorado fishing spot. It received a Jury Prize at the 2015 Mountain Film Festival.
“Whenever I was a little kid, I always had a fascination with moviemaking,” Hamilton said.
In a month, the 20-year-old will return to Austin, Texas to pursue a career in cinema. Less than three years ago, he entered Hillsdale with an aspiration to be a politician.
“My intended major from the beginning has been political economy, and still is at the current moment,” he said. “It’s what I’m declared as.”
Disregarding his major, he dropped two three-credit classes just before midterms this semester. The six extra hours of free time has allowed him to work on film and photography. He’s passing his classes, performing weekly with the Ad Liberty Improv Club, and working for the marketing department. He began this semester with 18 credits, but the mental toll became unmanageable. Dropping those classes pushed his graduation date to December 2016, but his original course schedule would have enabled him to graduate next semester as a junior.
“Hillsdale and this liberal education that we have has shaped my view of the world and insights into the world to the point that I’ve realized a few things,” Hamilton said. “I don’t want to be a politician.”
He admitted that Hillsdale’s lack of a film school also influenced his decision.
The laptop he uses was purchased with funds meant to go towards his high school senior trip. His desk sports a microphone and filter, covered by two baseball caps and a do-rag. In the corner of the room, a mess of music and film equipment sprawls across the floor.
He got the newer gear after his freshman year at Hillsdale. His college film work began with a Spanish class video project. While doing research for the movie, Hamilton said he discovered low-budget filmmaking. Using footage from an iPhone, he color-graded and edited the film on his computer.
“Not only can I make a movie, I can make one for cheap,” Hamilton said. “It’s like, this is an attainable goal. I can buy a relatively cheap camera and make something pretty decent.”
From a young age he had toyed with old film equipment, acting and directing with a group of friends. The possibility of going beyond the classroom with a childhood passion was hard to resist.
“That insight led me to think, this could be a career,” he said. “This does everything I want it to do, and I really think it’s powerful, and I seem to have this obsessive love for it. That’s sort of what sparked it all.”
His grandmother gave him $3,000 to purchase camera equipment, with which he made “Near Gunnison Valley.”
He also made a commercial last summer for Menchie’s Yogurt, a frozen yogurt chain.
The ad was shot and edited by Hamilton in two days. He did the voiceover as well. Hamilton said he received $250, but most filmmakers would expect four times that amount.
“I still haven’t made anything significant in my opinion but I’m working on it,” he said.
He has been working on it since before last June, when he spent the summer in Hillsdale, “just being alone and going insane in a house.”
He said he slept on an air mattress in the living room, and spent his days working for the college’s marketing team, where he edited and watched videos.
The news of Hamilton’s departure came as a shock to his roommate, junior Conor Woodfin, who has known him since middle school.
“It’s not a light decision by any means,” Woodfin said.
His friend and fellow Improv Club participant senior Eric Walker also was upset by the news. He said that Hamilton could reap more benefits from staying and finishing his education, because he “has a lot to contribute.”
Hamilton sat in A.J.’s Café, sprawled sideways on a padded chair. With an energy drink in hand, he reflected on his decision to leave Hillsdale for his childhood dream.
He credits his education at Hillsdale for making him the person he is today.
“I want to have the broad ideas because you can’t make art in this weird personal vacuum of feelings,” he says. “You have to understand the way the world works.”
The nights leading up to the decision were becoming difficult as he struggled to balance school and passion. His time spent in prayer, and the support of his family, validated his decision to leave college.
“Every day you go to sleep and you go to bed thinking, ‘I’m just completely unhappy,’” he said. “I decided it was time to make a change.”
