Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer emphatically “promised” he had not read the 2,700-page health care bill and would not read it during proceedings. Although Breyer was appointed by Bill Clinton, experts assure the media that Breyer can, in fact, read.
The 2,700-page monstrosity is enough to stop a bullet or, better yet, suffocate a Beverly Hills Chihuahua in less time than it takes to sludge through the first page. If spread out, it would easily cover the oval office three times over. Then, Frankenstein could meet his creation.
“It’s alive! It’s… wow, this thing is big. Has anyone read this? Biden! Come look at this thing…”
It seems that the bill is too long, too complex, and too complicated. If the supreme lawyers of the land think the bill too difficult to decipher, how could lesser gods like insurance companies’ counsels or low level feds possibly figure it out?
Obama’s grandiose language makes the unfortunate listener think the president must have reached across the aisle so many times that he will soon have carpel tunnel. There is no attempt at bipartisanship, however, when the bill is so large that the other side has no time to read it. There is no attempt at the virtuous proliferation of workable legislation when regulation involving mammograms, birth control, insurance reform, and individual mandates are not separately worked on to reach a viable compromise.
Democrats’ utter indifference to legislative integrity and the powerful enmity towards purposeful bipartisanship was more obvious, though far less entertaining, than a jaded baby momma on the Jerry Springer Show clawing at the eyes of a “good-for-nothing man who aint worked in three years.”
Any congressman who found a problem with birth control language or the individual mandate soon faced propaganda consequences of Obamical proportions. Senator “Hey, wait a minute…” suddenly hates the poor, refusing to agree out of a seemingly incessant white conservative hate volcano simultaneously simmering in his black soul and the frozen Alaskan planes of Sarah Palin’s backyard. He was even seen that morning kicking elderly patients and black children out of hospitals while rocketing HIV-tipped syringes at them like ninja stars.
Democratic smearing of legitimate opposition not only displays their bogus bipartisanship. They unknowingly parade their unconditional love for more government regulation. Big government’s insatiable lust for red tape is not a new topic amongst conservatives. An hour of Limbaugh will leave you thinking the “libs” probably call phone-sex hotlines to talk about regulation “Ohhhh, baby, show me that permit.”
More specifically to today’s events, the health care bill is the Messianic legislation of the left. Gollum’s “my precious” accurately reflects Democrat’s obsession with the health care bill for as long as Barack Obama has been meeting up for beers at TGI Fridays with Saul Alinsky and Bill Ayers.
In a speech delivered 9 March 2010, twelve days before the House passed the health-care legislation, then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said, “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.” Which makes about as much sense as cutting off someone’s head to see if they are dead, though there might be a provision for that in the bill. Who knows?
Nobody. That’s who.
Unverified reports indicated that Elvish and Klingon sections of the bill were inserted to treat their anatomical distinctions (naturally) as well as a concise, 300-page sexual history of Britney Spears.
The ridiculous nature of this “legislation” invites scorn, but comparing it to a gem of past legislation invites sadness. The Northwest Ordinance, for example, was adopted in 1787. In two pages, the bill prohibited slavery in the Northwest Territories, provided an orderly plan for the admittance of states into the union there, demanded republican constitutions of state governments, set the precedent for liberty for all men, and guaranteed rule of law and the rights of Americans to settlers in the colonies. Two pages vs. 27,000. I suppose stealing liberties is a verbose business.
The ridiculous length, vague complexities, and the explosive growth of government this bill emphasize the magnitude of the court’s decision, and add a hopeless tinge to Buzz’ catchphrase, “To infinity, and beyond?”
