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My maternal grandparents met on a ski train from Kansas City to Colorado when my grandfather asked my grandmother for a light. They were married for 52 years.
We wax nostalgic about the way things once were, especially in the realm of love and marriage. It’s hard not to feel as though our grandparents, and even parents, had an easier time meeting the loves of their lives. The world they paint when they tell their origin stories seems impossible to replicate: serendipitous connections at cocktail parties, crowded bars, or even on the street.
But this rich culture didn’t exist of its own accord. Our grandparents, as young people, put in the effort to host cocktail hours, game nights, and birthday parties that led to so many marriages.
As the days grow shorter and the weather colder, it’s easier than ever to retreat into our own little worlds. Our calendars are rife with excuses: midterms, projects, and essays. Yet we need to remember the bigger picture. Whether the social fabric frays or strengthens is up to us.
Want to find love? Host a party.
Gen Z isn’t dating, or so we’re told. Even at Hillsdale, many who would like to get married still haven’t connected with Ms. or Mr. Right. Dating apps are one option, though many would prefer to meet a future spouse in person. Old-fashioned blind dates are another alternative. Yet on a campus where everyone knows everyone else’s business, such setups aren’t so simple: whether successful or not, they could end up feeding the campus rumor mill.
Enter parties: less pressure than a blind date, more productive than a “study session,” and more private than a college-hosted event. A party can bring together people who really ought to meet, in a relaxed environment outside of the academic grind. A social environment has advantages over a first date in showing how that cute guy interacts with his friends. And if sparks don’t fly, there’s none of the awkwardness of turning down a second date — and all of the freedom to move on to the next witty conversationalist.
Hosting is an art form, and easy to learn. A great party is just the right mix of great drinks, background music at the right volume, too little floor space, a couple of seasoned flirts, and one would-be comedian. No occasion is too small: My off-campus house has been known to throw a huge bash commemorating a friend’s fictional tattoo.
Romantic possibilities aside, parties are the way to make your time at Hillsdale count. Freshmen, take note — four years fly by, and by the end you’ll be wishing you spent more time with friends. As a host, you get the benefits of curating the guest list: Invite interesting acquaintances, merge social groups, and dabble in the delicate art of matchmaking.
I owe my approaching marriage to a party that did just that. Though my future husband and I grew up knowing of each other’s families, we’d never met in person. That all changed when we sat together around a friend’s bonfire five years ago.
Sometimes, we can become so backward-looking that we forget it really is possible to create the kind of future we want for ourselves. The first step might just be an email invite to 20 people you admire.
Set the conditions for serendipity. Host a party.
Caroline Kurt is a senior studying English.
