Young adults should take the time to try new things and practice independence, while also relying on the wisdom of their family, according to two local pastors at an Equip Ministries lecture April 4.
“We don’t want to raise children that end up thinking they are so independent, they’re so self-sufficient under God,” said Bob Snyder, an associate pastor at Countryside Bible Church. “They need no one. They need their parents in the sense that there’s encouragement and value for counsel. Seek it. Honor your parents.”
Matt Davis, student ministries pastor at Pine Ridge Bible Church, said it is essential for young adults to use their 20s as a time to balance independence and reliance on their parents.
“There are two elements,” Davis said. “One is we’re going to ask you to do the things of an adult. We’re going to expect certain things of you. Then there is proving your adulthood. You see that play out in Christ’s life.”
When a person turns 18, they do not automatically become, in a spiritual sense, an adult, according to Davis.
“You become 18 and you aren’t necessarily given the respect that you feel like an adult should get,” Davis said. “There’s this period of time, this proving period, that you see even with Jesus.”
Sophomore Luke Myers said the pastors’ advice gave him a different outlook on what it means to become an adult.
“It provided me with a clear understanding of how to navigate parental guidance in a way that aligns with Scripture as I transition into adulthood,” Myers said.
Snyder said he encourages young adults to give up “childish things,” especially video games, if they hope to be treated as adults.
“Your time of playing games is done,” Snyder said. “Seriously, quit it. I want to encourage you to move beyond playing games. There is so much more. There are so many responsibilities and so many things that need addressing. So many needs in this world that require your gifts.”
Another problem facing young adults, according to Snyder, is a different concept of a successful life.
“They define adulthood as getting settled in love and settled in work,” Snyder said. “Both of those are idealized by your generation. You say: ‘I’m gonna get a soul mate, I’m gonna marry my best friend, and I’m gonna have a dream job.’ Those are unrealistic ideals.”
Snyder said these impractical desires lead to an unhealthy, continually changing way of life, but there is also time to figure out the right course of action.
“I see your 20s as a time period of testing and experimenting a little bit,” Snyder said. “When I see the savior of the world was OK building houses all through his 20s I think, ‘Apparently, you’re in no rush.’”
Junior Joy Li, who helped organize the event, said she heard Snyder discuss the topic at a weekly Bible study and thought it was something Hillsdale students in particular could benefit from.
“We thought it was a really great topic for Hillsdale students to hear about because we are obsessive sometimes with thinking through what our plans are and what our future is going to be like,” Li said. “But we have to commit that to the Lord.”
