If you ever want to make quick enemies, try dropping the line “everyone should go to therapy.”
You’ll get scoffed at by those who have severe substance abuse problems, run through romantic partners like songs on a Spotify playlist, and who can’t communicate even if their life depends on it.
You do not need severe trauma in order to benefit from regular therapy sessions. You just have to be human.
Therapy offers a chance for an individual to express themselves without judgment. You are given a slot of time you can fill however you choose. You can talk about deep family trauma, or how what your friend said last week made you upset. Your therapist’s job is to offer hypotheses, help you identify patterns, recognize why you interact with life the way that you do, and offer advice as to how to better yourself.
The biggest misconception when it comes to therapy is that you will be “fixed.” But there isn’t a set number of sessions that will leave you reborn and highly intuitive, ready to approach every new challenge with ease. We are constantly being affected by life, and healing is a cyclic process. In order for therapy to benefit someone, they have to be willing to be vulnerable– a state we culturally seem to have lost touch with.
It is a lot easier to choose numbness, and there have never been more superficial opportunities to fill that void.
Therapy is often viewed as being geared toward women, who are encouraged to interact with their emotional side, despite often being dismissed for being too “dramatic.” In turn, there seems to be a trend of emotionally intelligent women who are equipped with medical terminology and a whole toolbox of coping mechanisms. As a result, we’re faced with men who have yet to even begin to understand themselves. I think this propels an age-old trend of women being seen as hospitals for broken men.
This dynamic is not heterosexually exclusive. Women can be just as broken and just as destructive in relationships. But since women are given more opportunities and encouragement to share those grievances, I think we’re having one conversation in two different languages.
When the topic of mental health comes up, specifically in conservative hot spots like Hillsdale, men will bring up the argument that they are statistically more likely to commit suicide than women. This argument usually flourishes under the lens of examining feminism and its societal effects. And yet, there is still a general widespread hesitance toward treatment.
We don’t need more “manly men.” We need more healed people.
There are many factors that affect someone’s decision to go to therapy or not, but if you’ve ever thought about giving therapy a go, consider this a sign to follow through on it. Working on yourself doesn’t just help you. It’s a service to those around you. When you are better able to examine yourself, you can examine others through a more empathetic gaze.
Hillsdale College offers counseling services through the health center. College is a time of sleep deprivation, insane caffeine intake, and experimenting in all realms of life. There’s no shame in asking for support when you need it.
