I asked my first boyfriend out on Valentine’s Day, 2017. 

Since then, I’ve spent only one alone. It was 2021, and it was dreadful. 

As of May, I’ll hopefully never spend Valentine’s Day alone again, which is nice. But, it also means I’ll never learn about myself in the way you get to when you’re single, which is a hugely overlooked gift. 

On my single Valentine’s, I realized how much I value attention, and the lengths I’m willing to go to get it aren’t always healthy. That’s a valuable lesson for a 19-year-old girl with Snapchat to learn.

Now, when I learn things about myself or discover new interests, I have to wonder if they’re rooted in my fiancé’s beliefs. I’m sure I have the same effect on him when he listens.

You can see this all over campus: Friends repeating political opinions their crushes said once in Constitution class, people dieting at the behest of their partner, previously devout individuals converting faiths.

Having a foundational, single period in your late teens and early 20s is such a blessing. Your frontal lobe is still squishy and unformed, you’re unattached, and it’s when you can think the most for yourself. 

This is also the last time you’ll be surrounded with 1,400 peers who have as much free time as you, so prioritize making friends more than meeting fine honeys. Celebrate Galentine’s Day, have a fraternal love Super Bowl party, and cherish the people you don’t want to kiss — they’re less likely to break up with you, anyways.

So, if you’re alone this Valentine’s day, relish in the fact that you can form your foundational principles in peace. And once you’ve done that: Get a girlfriend, loser.