“It’s none of my business” is a phrase Hillsdale students would do well to remember.
During the third week of the semester, I had a conversation with my housemates about a personal problem. I made sure to ask that they keep it under wraps, but by the end of the following week, people who had no good reason to know about it were bringing it up to me in passing. Word had spread quickly about something private.
I don’t bring this up simply to complain about a frustrating situation — I’m as guilty as anyone else on this campus of having conversations about others that I probably shouldn’t. But that’s the point: there is a gossip problem at Hillsdale, and we need to stop it.
We pride ourselves on self-government, but fail to control our mouths. It makes sense. Gossip thrives when people in small, tight-knit communities get bored. We have a small campus and often little to do outside of academics, providing the means, motive, and opportunity to indulge in this base pleasure. Not everybody knows everybody, but everybody knows of everybody. When someone has an inside scoop, the temptation to talk can be irresistible.
Because our small school fosters the vice, we have to guard against it — even those who do not usually struggle with gossip. The solution is simple but difficult: be intentional in what you say. American founder Benjamin Franklin set a good example in this respect. He developed his character by making a list of 13 virtues and choosing one per week for focus and improvement. Make temperance the virtue you focus on next week. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, to gossip is to “talk idly about the affairs of others.” These conversations are often based in rumor but even if the shared information is true — as was the case in my story — it does not give you the right to talk about it.
When someone who is not present comes up in conversation, pause and ask why you are talking about that person. It’s good to think about whether or not you have a vested interest in the person’s well-being. Are you talking about someone because you care or because it satisfies some craving to share or receive private information? Even if you do know and care about the person, ask yourself whether the discussion is appropriate for the time, place, and company.
We also need to consider what drives gossip. What makes it enjoyable is the shared experience — the sense of belonging to a group of insiders. We talk with others because we desire community, but gossip is a perversion of this desire. It is not bad to want to belong, feel like an important part of a conversation, or be in the know, but it is bad when these desires are placed above honesty and integrity. It’s bad when we justify ignoring the golden rule for the sake of personal enjoyment. We are never excited to learn that others are discussing intimate details about us, but we don’t seem to have enough of a problem with it to modify our behavior on the other side of the issue. If community is what we’re after, we need to pursue it in other ways.
I get it. It feels good to be part of a conversation. It feels good when friends huddle around, hanging onto every hushed word that leaves our mouths. It feels good to be in the know. But if we are not careful, it can come at the price of our integrity and character.
Isaac Green is a junior studying philosophy, German, and journalism.
