This may be the first time you are hearing this, but I think it’s important to know that your life has been a lie. That thing you call “chili” is not. Unfortunately, the pervasive sin of putting beans in chili infects the minds of people outside of Texas and even some inside the confines of God’s chosen state. 

Before you start to protest, you should know I’m not making an arbitrary claim here: this is the standard of the ancestors of this meaty menagerie of love.

Chili, as we know it, was created by immigrants from the Canary Islands that settled in my hometown of San Antonio, Texas, in 1731. These immigrants combined their Spanish heritage with a Moroccan influence to turn Chili Colorado into something new and lovely. Chili Colorado set the standard for beef covered in a chili paste, but San Antonio Chili took it to new heights. Though the land was adapted into an area suitable for commercial farming, the settlers still needed food. Rather than corn or wheat, the readily available food source was beef. 

The original recipe was simply a spicy stew with meat, cumin, garlic, chili peppers, and wild onion. This frontier did not have time to grow beans. They only had time to make a beautiful meal. 

In 1880, there arose a form of “girl bosses.” The Chili Queens of South Texas, pillars of San Antonio culture, took this dish and made it into a local staple. They set up stands in the Mercado with cast iron planchas and chili pots to serve the bustling city at the crest of the West. They would sell chili, tortillas, and a side of beans to all who had a dime. They did not, however, mix beans with chili. I implore you. Respect the queens. 

If history isn’t your thing, allow the present day to convince you. The Terlingua Chili Cookoff, widely respected as the top chili contest in the world, prohibits beans in chili. “No beans, pasta, rice or other similar items are allowed” Don’t put filler where there should be beef. 

That is not to say I’ll turn up my nose at bean-filled meat slop. I won’t. I’ll eat meat slop anytime, anyway-even in the gloriously insane Cincinnati way. But don’t call it “chili.” Call chili with beans by its properly demarcated name, “chili with beans.”