I’m starting to see more and more that the women around me expect too much from men or, worse, expect too little. We either want Prince Charming to ride up on his white horse and save us or we want to accept major flaws in order to have a relationship. Both are skewed ideas of what a good relationship should be; yet they abound in the world as well as right here at Hillsdale.
It would take a dissertation to explain the complexities of both views. So, for this article, it is necessary to focus on the latter view. Say a girl finds a charming guy who expresses strong interest in her, only to immediately learn some flaws that should not be a part of the healthy loving relationship that she is seeking to start with this person. Maybe he just got out of a long-term relationship and, unsure if he is really okay, she has to decide if she wants to spend the most formative part of their relationship waiting for him to fess up and say he can’t handle a relationship right now.
Or perhaps this girl finds Chief Roger’s definition of a dog, “charming personality, but with a character that makes Daniel Cleaver look like a saint.” She knows he’s no good, but the guy says he would do anything to win her love.
The complexities that play into the decision to accept or reject either of these men abound, but the common thread is the simple fact that we feel, and rightly so, that we deserve love and affection. If a less-than-decent guy offers that to us right now, why wouldn’t we wait for a decent one to come along? I’ll tell you why.
Two people — we’ll call them Bob and Bethany — are dating. It is the first relationship for both of them, not because they’re abnormally unattractive, but because all of their previous almost-relationships never came to fruition because they recognized deal-breaking flaws and were smart enough to know that suffering through enough pain to write an award-winning album — Here’s looking at you, Adele — was needless and unnecessary.
They waited and waited for years. Cut to first semester freshman year and Bob and Bethany finally meet, finding an equal in one another.
Enough of this putting up with losers and hoping they’ll change into what we want. We need to start setting more fire to the rain and stop trying to paint black horses white.