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Blue Gatorade, melancholy postcards, and the soul

Our van pulled off the road at “Visalia Drug Testing & More.” Spencer, the executive director of my Christian ministry, had warned me of this step with a meme that superimposed his head over Hulk Hogan’s: “Drug tests? What kind of drugs are we testing?” Spencer’s face was white as cream cheese and his silver...

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Why I don’t hate the Greek system

which, until recently, I was unaware, I do not hate the Greek system. I did go through a stage of anti-Greekness at one point, but as of late, such sentiments have become drastically reduced. I am not opposed to the Greek system. In fact, I believe the Greek system does much good, and, when operating...

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‘Townie’ dehumanizes Hillsdale residents

Hipsters like skinny jeans, obscure music, and fair trade coffee. Sorority girls only wear leggings and pearls. Athletes never open books. But the danger of a stereotype is not necessarily its tendency towards falseness. In reality, many stereotypes are fairly accurate. Rather, stereotypes are wrong because they dehumanize the people they describe. When we see...

Redskins need a new name
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Redskins need a new name

“This is SportCenter.” Da-na-na—Da-na-na. “The New Orleans Negroes toppled the Florida Jews today in a blowout victory. The win is surprising since the Negroes lost their starting quarterback to an ankle injury in their game against the Los Angeles Beaners just last week. How this loss will affect their season is yet to be seen,...

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What makes boy bands beautiful

You may hate me, but it ain’t no lie…” You want to break out into dance and finish the refrain at the top of your lungs. But you look around at all the people near you rolling their eyes at ‘N Sync, so you shrug your shoulders and suppress the urge. “Boy bands are lame....