My roommate and I both like the same guy. I feel like we are constantly competing every time we hang out with him and it’s often tense. How do we keep our friendship? ‑Rivaling Rory
This is an age old dilemma: Do you go after the guy or prioritize your female friendship? First, evaluate how well you know him. Figure out how likely it is that you would date. If he’s not interested, it’s not worth jeopardizing your relationship with your roommate.
If you do want to pursue a relationship, be honest about it. Communication is key. You said it’s obvious that you both like this guy, but have you sat down and talked about it? Nothing could be worse for your friendship than secretly pursuing someone you know your roommate is also interested in. Suggest that, no matter what, you two will remain friends.
Then, leave it up to the guy to decide. If he pursues you, be gracious about it and avoid rubbing it in. If he is interested in her, do your best to avoid jealousy and give yourself space if it makes you sad or uncomfortable to be around them. If he doesn’t want to date either of you, problem solved!
Regardless of what happens, spring break is just around the corner. A few days apart may be a nice breather for you and your roommate to diffuse the tension. Have a great break and happy spring!
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