Dear Dale is a weekly advice column. Courtesy | Cal Abbo

Dear Dale,

My roommate and I both like the same guy. I feel like we are con­stantly com­peting every time we hang out with him and it’s often tense. How do we keep our friendship? ‑Rivaling Rory


This is an age old dilemma: Do you go after the guy or pri­or­itize your female friendship? First, evaluate how well you know him. Figure out how likely it is that you would date. If he’s not inter­ested, it’s not worth jeop­ar­dizing your rela­tionship with your roommate.

If you do want to pursue a rela­tionship, be honest about it. Com­mu­ni­cation is key. You said it’s obvious that you both like this guy, but have you sat down and talked about it? Nothing could be worse for your friendship than secretly pur­suing someone you know your roommate is also inter­ested in. Suggest that, no matter what, you two will remain friends.

Then, leave it up to the guy to decide. If he pursues you, be gra­cious about it and avoid rubbing it in. If he is inter­ested in her, do your best to avoid jealousy and give yourself space if it makes you sad or uncom­fortable to be around them. If he doesn’t want to date either of you, problem solved!

Regardless of what happens, spring break is just around the corner. A few days apart may be a nice breather for you and your roommate to diffuse the tension. Have a great break and happy spring!


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