This two-hour special starts out with a much needed confrontation. Peter sends Alayah home, for the second time, and finally, the house is at peace for a moment.
This is also the first time I’ve been underwhelmed by the show.
The momentary lapse in drama between Alayah leaving and the next rose ceremony was good for my sanity, but I’m ready for more.
There’s some nervous energy in the house before the ceremony, and ‘Tasmanian devil’ Tammy notes: “If I don’t get a rose tonight, I will burn the house to the ground.” I believe her.
Luckily, Tammy is the last lady to get a rose in the ceremony (probably because the producers believed her too), which sends Deandra, Savannah, and Kiarra home.
The night wraps up with an exciting announcement from Peter: Bachelor nation, we’re going international! As the jet touches down in Costa Rica, I can already hear the shrieks of inappropriately bikini-clad women. As the girls practice rolling their “r’s” and work on their best Spanish accents “for the culture,” they get a surprise visit from a wounded Peter.
No, it’s not his heart — not this time at least.
Peter has a large cut on his head which he tries to play off with a story about attacking a puma, but the real story is so much better. He runs into a golf cart and accidentally pokes himself in the head with a champagne glass. 22 stitches. This is your future husband, ladies.
Peter and Sydney head off on their first one-on-one date. They go on a romantic helicopter ride, but I’m not sensing much of a connection. Peter thinks Sydney has “a little bit of mysteriousness about her.”
In the real world, we call that a lack of personality.
Peter says the date is “exactly what I needed after my head injury.” Yes, that’s correct, an injury to his head.
Well at this point, my head hurts too. I’ve sat through the entire date with them and there is absolutely nothing of substance that has been said. Sydney’s extensive use of space fillers (like, um, mmhm) every two words has rendered me completely unable to, like, function. Give her a rose so we can move on, Peter.
The group date is a “Cosmopolitan” photoshoot, and the winner will be featured on the March issue with Peter. As the women prance around waterfalls in their bikinis, our ever-supportive bachelor Peter stands back to objectify. Peter reminds me of a Kris Jenner-esque figure as he watches the photoshoot, yelling, “that’s what I like to see.” After the pillow fight, I should’ve known anything was possible, but this feels like we’ve hit a new low.
At the cocktail party, Kelsey is having some difficulty accepting that Peter is seeing other women. I almost feel bad for her until I remember that she applied, interviewed, and auditioned to be in this position. Tammy points out Kelsey’s emotional stability — or lack thereof. I’ll give you a brief lowdown: Tammy tells Peter that Kelsey had an emotional breakdown, Peter confronts Kelsey, Kelsey has another emotional breakdown, and the girls hash it out. Nothing is resolved, but we do confirm that Kelsey has an excessive drinking issue. I don’t blame her — we all have our own coping mechanisms.
Kelley and Peter go on a rather unique one-on-one date. Peter has been having doubts about their relationship and “needs to see a lot from Kelley today.” Is this an interview or a date?
Our logical bachelor puts fate in the hands of an ever-wise shaman who tells him that the couple might not be compatible. Peter puts a lot of stake into the shaman’s opinion, as any reasonable man should, and is noticeably upset. Regardless, he’s willing to let Kelley have one more week to prove herself (how generous), and she gets a date rose.
Don’t worry — the drama isn’t over. Kelsey meets Peter in his hotel room to tell him that she does not, in fact, have a drinking problem. Peter, of course, believes her without a second thought, and she gets a surprise rose. The pre-rose ceremony cocktail party for the evening is canceled because Peter already has “the clarity I need to make my decision.” He sends Lexi and Shiann home, keeping the most dramatic girls around — once again.
Honestly, the poor guy is just shooting himself in the foot. If he keeps believing everything the girls tell him, he’ll never find a wife.
But then again, I’m not sure I really care.
Peter’s now left with his chosen 12. Let’s see who goes out and spreads the word.