I have liked a guy for a few months. We hang out reg­u­larly but haven’t gone on any official dates. How do I know if this is hills­dating? Is hills­dating socially acceptable?

-Con­fused Candace


Happy Valen­tines Day! In this romantic week it’s hard not to wonder about our dating lives. And hills­dating is its own can of worms. It’s so prevalent that Urban Dic­tionary even has an entry on it, noting that hills­dating is “a rela­tionship where a guy and a girl who like each other spend every waking moment together but refuse to admit or agree that they are dating.”  

If he’s walking you back to your dorm, eating meals with you, and texting you con­stantly — all while never actually implying that you are dating — those are signals you’re likely hills­dating. Another sign is if he flirts just enough to get you inter­ested but could pass it off as “just being friendly” if he’s called out on it. What is your response when people ask you about your rela­tionship status? If you reply by saying that you don’t really know what you are … then con­grats, you’re hills­dating. At its core, hills­dating is the awkward stage between being friends and being a couple; the stage where you’re con­stantly con­fused about what your rela­tionship is.

As far as being socially acceptable, that varies depending on your social circles. You may get teased a bit by your friends, but no one is going to shun you for it. Worry less about what other people are thinking about your rela­tionship and decide what you want. Are you ready to go on an actual date or are you happy with the way you are hanging out now? If you want things to progress, com­mu­nicate that with him. If he feels the same way, you have yourself a valentine!


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