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Peter Weber is on his journey to finding love on the Bachelor. Courtesy | Wiki­commons

If you thought ‘The Bachelor’ couldn’t get any more degrading, you’re in for a sur­prise. Let’s catch each other up. 

The episode starts out with a wholesome one-on-one date between Vic­toria P. and Peter. I get good vibes from Vic­toria, and so does Peter. She seems down to earth and genuine, a rare occur­rence in ‘The Bachelor’ world. Can’t wait until we see her true colors. 

Demi, a pre­vious con­testant on ‘The Bachelor,’ plans Peter’s group date this week. She comes to the house with outfits for the girls going on the date — and she does not dis­ap­point. 

The girls receive various pajama sets — mumus, normal PJ’s, and even straight up lin­gerie. The group heads to the venue to find the activity for the day — and I kid you not — it’s a com­pet­itive pillow fight. 

Com­pet­itive. Pillow. Fight. 

Now listen; I don’t sub­scribe to the ‘down with the patri­archy!’ fem­inist mantra of third wave con­formists, but this, THIS set us back about 100 years, ladies. 

Thank God for Tammy, the “tas­manian devil,” who was on the varsity wrestling team in high school, and really brought the action. 

Sydney, a very respectable girl, who Peter “trusts,” has her sus­pi­cions about Alayah, a girl I hon­estly didn’t expect to be rel­evant, but appar­ently she’s been busy. Alayah’s the perfect mix of fake, cham­pagne, and promis­cuity — and the girls are catching on. 

Sydney voices her con­cerns to Peter on the group date and it pays off. She gets the date rose, and Alayah is fuming. If I were Sydney, I would sleep with a stiletto (just in case Alayah comes looking for her).  

It seems that pageant princess, Alayah, is here for the wrong reasons (shocker), and Peter is worried about “falling for someone then real­izing they’re not who they said they were.” Nonetheless, Alayah turns on the charm and Peter’s doubts vanish. 

That is, until the rose cer­emony. 

We find out that Vic­toria P. and Alayah knew each other before the season started, and Alayah asked Vic­toria P. not to “tell pro­ducers they knew each other.” Alayah isn’t really here for Peter (col­lective gasp), but she “is very open to oppor­tu­nities after the ‘Bachelor,’” Alayah said. 

I, like Peter, am quaking. 

In a very intense rose cer­emony, Peter sends not three, but four girls home. Though he grapples with his decision (in reasons unbe­knownst to me), he lets Jasmine, Alexa, Sarah, and… Alayah (finally) go. 

Lucky for you “Alayah stans,” it’s not over. In the preview for next week’s episode, there’s a short, but shocking clip of her making a dra­matic return. 

For now, Alayah is gone. But don’t cry in your pillow just yet. 

Stay thirsty my friends. I sense some­thing big brewing.