I know we were all on the edge of our seats last week, but rest assured — this episode delivered.
Episode four starts off with host Chris Harrison (a total dreamboat, why can’t he be the bachelor?) telling the girls that their “journey will take you all around the world… and it all begins… in Cleveland, Ohio!” Everyone, contain your excitement.
Victoria F. receives the honor of going on the first one-on-one this week and she is ecstatic when she sees that Peter has planned a romantic plane ride for the couple: “Why are we at an airport omg no no please omg no!!! Stop !!! I’m literally drooling I can’t breathe.” She is literally drooling.
The pair is serenaded by country singer Chase Rice. You may not know him, but Victoria does. It turns out Victoria and Chris dated — a fact Peter was blissfully unaware of. Things get awkward when Peter says, “maybe we’ll dance to a Chase Rice song at our wedding.” Maybe, Peter, maybe.
The two go on a romantic dinner and Victoria F. tells Peter about Chase. The conversation goes something like this:
Victoria F.: “Chase and I used to date.”
Peter: “Like, the singer Chase?” (Victoria nods) “Wait what… no… I talked to him… like… what… like…”
Victoria F. Has an emotional breakdown, runs away, and cries in a corner before Peter (reluctantly) gives her a rose.
The first group date activity is a football game. Is it a good idea to pit two teams of emotional girls against each other and give them full permission to tackle, push, and beat each other? Always.
Not to mention, these girls are already missing enough brain cells. I fear they might go brain dead altogether if a football hits them the wrong way.
Regardless, at least you don’t have to worry about the Super Bowl this weekend — the real game already ended. It’s fitting this week’s episode is in Cleveland; I didn’t think anyone could be worse than the Browns, but here we are… the Bachelor Bowl.
Let me tell you — it was a major upset for the Killer Bees this season. One of the only times we’ve seen Shiann step up this year, but we hope to see it continue in coming games. Right now, it’s not looking good for Mykenna (I’ve heard trade talks are afoot), but she still has some time.
The girls trade in their pads for evening gowns and get ready for the night. The cocktail party is going fine, until a blast from the past struts in. Just when you thought we got rid of her — here comes Alayah.
The girls seem rather perturbed.
Victoria P. loses her mind and erupts into tears when Alayah calls her out for being “sketchy.” Victoria remains strong and tells Peter that “my truth is the truth” (my newest answer when Dr. Arnn asks what the true is), but to no avail.
Peter, amidst the dropped jaws and waterworks, makes an appalling decision to give Alayah the group date rose. Remember, Alayah wasn’t even on the group date. There must be some sort of divine intervention involved to magnify the drama (ahem, looking at you producers).
There’s another one-on-one with Kelsey, but it’s really not worth discussing. Take my word for it.
The episode ends with a commercial for depression medication. And honestly, after suffering through the whole fifty minutes, I might need it.
Until next time.