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A Cal­endar of May activ­ities. | 1914 Winona Yearbook

“Men will Don Gay Colors while Girls Wear Hair in Curls.” What. A. Headline.

The April 21 1921 issue of The Col­legian did not dis­ap­point in its description of an extinct, but absolutely electric, Hillsdale Holiday: Sock Day.

The article reads, “Some years ago, we don’t know just when, the men of Hillsdale College with malice afore­thought and intent to kill, estab­lished the custom of Sock Day.” With that one quote, the so-called fashion police just fell in rank to these sock sol­diers. Who could these men pos­sibly have intended to kill? Who knew that socks were the most lethal kind of footwear? Neither the fashion police nor I will ever have enough courage to ask this clothing mafia these pressing ques­tions.

A Col­legian article pub­lished in April 1927 describes when Sock Day was created.

“[It was] long ago, when the college women care­fully con­cealed their ankles by long flowing skirts, and no man thought of entering into campus life without first growing a crop of side­burns.”

What a long, long time ago that must’ve been. It must have been way back in 2018.

How does one cel­e­brate Sock Day? According to the Col­legian in the beginning of May, “every man in college is expected to appear with a full three inches of glo­rious sock exposure — the more glo­rious the better.” First of all, bravo to anyone who can find a glo­rious pair of socks. Second of all, I am coming to the con­clusion that the men of Hillsdale College were a little con­fused as to where socks fall on the clothing hier­archy.

The unfor­tunate folks who couldn’t live up to the sock game of their fellow stu­dents were penalized in the most brutal of ways. An article in April 1921 describes the pun­ishment.

“Any man who fails to answer this call may expect to do penance in the fountain or in Cold Springs.”

Public humil­i­ation for not pub­licly humil­i­ating yourself: Sock Day has to be the most stunning display of “an eye for an eye” since that of ancient believers.

The article con­tinues by describing how women responded to this sacred holiday.

“It took the girls just two years to recover from the first blow of sur­prise. Then they orga­nized in self-defense; and on the next May Day blos­somed out on the campus with their hair a la sweet sixteen.”

It was a hijack on Sock Day using hair­styles that even Jojo Siwa couldn’t re-create. Sneaky, sneaky women of Hillsdale College, 1921.

Smarter than the men, the women even gave an option to those (aka everyone) who could not com­plete the mystery hair­style: “braids or waves tied in any case with the jaun­tiest ribbons that could be obtained.” Girls, way to really stick it to the Sock Day fanatics.

I guess my entire point in writing this article is this: Men of Hillsdale College, it is long past time to bring back Sock Day. The people don’t just want chicken tenders at an unbe­lievably well- dec­o­rated event while bopping to the best musical talent around. Oh no, we want a day to “don gay colors” and “wear hair in curls.”

DM me to organize forces and get this restarted.