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Central Hall is a con­stant in every Hillsdalian’s life. (Courtesy)

Aside from being admitted, paying tuition, and taking classes at Hillsdale College, there are certain qual­i­fi­ca­tions that make one a tried and true Hills­dalian. Only a real Hillsdale student has expe­ri­enced the fol­lowing.

  1. You’ve face-planted on the ridicu­lously uneven sidewalk of Manning.
  2. You’ve been caught checking yourself in the extensive Her­itage Room window.
  3. You sweat exces­sively as soon as you spot Hillsdale College Pres­ident Larry Arnn walking into the dining hall.
  4. You’ve wit­nessed a line stretching from one end of campus to another, anx­iously waiting for the library to open on Sunday after­noons.
  5. You’ve been hit by a stray golf ball from a game of statue golf. Also, you know what statue golf is.
  6. You’ve scoured all of Lane, Kendall, and the library only to find every room reserved by a single person or by a lone backpack. You fall to your knees in defeat. Guess you’re not passing Phi­losophy in this lifetime.
  7. The only way you know the dif­ference between Bastiat and the other two poly-econ author­ities is that Bastiat has better memes. You know, the memes that the one kid keeps putting in the Google doc while the rest of you are trying to actually create a study guide.
  8. You’ve spent more time standing in line for omelettes than you have studying for all your exams com­bined. Spoiler alert: your omelette fell apart.
  9. You’ve gotten heat stroke in Olds. You think this is a joke, but it’s hap­pened.
  10. You find Bon Appetit mugs in your house even though it’s in another state and you don’t remember bringing mugs home.
  11. You call it saga instead of Bon Appetit, because all the older stu­dents indoc­tri­nated you on the first day of ori­en­tation.
  12. You quote Aris­totle as if you’ve done any of the assigned readings before.
  13. You’re either #TeamYAL or #TeamYAF. There is no in-between.
  14. You’ve nearly been hit by a car trying to cross the street from Olds Res­i­dence to Gal­loway Res­i­dence.
  15. You’ve suc­cess­fully gotten out of a parking ticket from the security office.
  16. You only attended President’s Ball (and Welcome Party and Garden Party) for the chicken tenders. Also then you made it very well known on social media with a caption some­thing along the lines of #Came­ForTheNugs.
  17. You’ve been chilled to the bone by the thought of finally rising to senior status and getting that free Don Tocco poetry book.
  18. You’ve mar­veled at the large size of the ath­letes all crammed onto one couch in the student union watching a daytime episode of ESPN.
  19. It is the end of the semester. You just need a coffee for your last study session but the guy in front of you at AJ’s doesn’t want to waste a penny of his “Charger Change,” so he buys three egg salad sand­wiches, two Arnold Palmers, six Kit Kat bars, and one pack of gum, doing the math in his head just to eat off Charlie the Charger’s dime in whatever way pos­sible. Oh wait now he’s taking away the pack of gum because it’s six cents over.
  20. You’re crying in AJ’s because you related to this article so hard.
  • “An episode of ESPN?” So the author is clearly not a sports fan.