We need more exciting CCAs

Home Study Break We need more exciting CCAs
We need more exciting CCAs
Ann McElhinney spoke at a past CCA on the benefits of fracking. (Anders Kiledal/Collegian)

Every year, Hillsdale College puts on four conferences that attract visitors and donors to campus by the hundreds. Students, on the other hand, are forced to attend one session of the Center for Constructive Alternatives during their time at Hillsdale, and the topics could be more interesting.

Here are some ideas that would pique student’s attention:

CCA I: Cats and Dogs: How pets played a role in founding the Conservative movement
A hands-on approach to pets and the role they play in government, society, and the home.”

CCA II: Films of Quentin Tarantino
A foray into the violent yet playful cinematic universe of Quentin Tarantino. Those under 18 are strongly cautioned to not attend.”

CCA III: Cartoons and the Moral Development
“How Spongebob, Adventure Time and Rick and Morty tackle the question of the good, the true, and the beautiful.”

CCA IV: Dating, Relationships, and Society: How to find happiness and populate the earth
A Hillsdale Student’s guide to basic relationships and dating as well as practical advice on having as many children as possible after figuring it out. (Extra van parking will be provided on West Street, to the right of Simpson Dormitory.)”

CCA V: The Art of Polite Conversation
The highest form of communication is that which is kind. This CCA will enlighten even the most arrogant students how to voice their ridiculous opinions with grace and kindness. Mandatory for students living in Simpson Dormitory.”

These are some of the many possibilities that will surely have students running to Phillips Auditorium, and the list could go on forever.

CCA LXI: Erosions of the Student Mind: Seniorosis, Senioritis, and how to overcome them
A hard look into the different states of unmotivating factors in student performance and effective methods to control them. Seniors are required to attend.”

CCA XCII: Boring Lectures, Open Bar
This conference will feature boring lectures from highly educated people you’ve never heard of talking about something you barely care about. The bar, on the other hand, is very exciting and accessible.”

CCA MMCII: Generic Politician Lineup Conference
Politicians talk a lot and do a lot less. Hear from some of the best talkers in America bloviate ‘til they’re blue as well as learn more about what makes them so long-winded.”