We all have our favorite spots to study: the places we sit to get work done, the places we say are great study spots but never actually use, and the places we sit to look like we’re getting work done while starting up a conversation with literally everyone who passes by (I’m looking at you, A.J.’s).
Though you may not have admitted it to yourself, we also know of places that are the worst possible spots to study, and we should avoid them like the plague. Term paper due tomorrow? Better start writing an explanatory letter to your parents instead, because if you can only find one of these bad spots to park with your books, you’re going to start questioning the necessity of your degree. How bad could waitressing be, after all?
The Long Tables in the Knorr Family Dining Hall
We’ve all been there. It’s 6:30 p.m. and you have a test tomorrow that you haven’t studied for, so you sit down to study and your stomach rumbles. You feign horror: you can’t waste any more time not working! So you capitulate: you go to the dining hall with a book in hand, saying you’ll “study” while you eat. And let’s not forget to give credit where credit is due, because you really do try: you hold your book open with one hand, and fork pasta into your mouth with the other, and maybe even read a word or two. But alas, all you’ve got at the end of the meal is a stomach full of something (you’re not sure what — you were too busy pretending to read). The one page your book was open to the whole meal is bedazzled with marinara splatters and you feel a delightful sensation comparable to being shot in the foot by your own bullet… twice.
The Great Outdoors
It’s the first spring-like day of the semester, and it’s gorgeous outside. That little voice in your head (the same one that says “running is fun!” and “it will only take me an hour to write this essay!”) tries to tell you that you’ll be productive sitting outside. Well, I’m here to save you the trouble and heartbreak, young Hillsdalian. Do you think you know what wind is? You don’t until you’ve been struck by a Michigan gale, and no amount of Aristotle and Euclid can keep your loose paper drafts from flying off and demonstrating the logical necessity of their independence elsewhere.
Outside Office Hours
Also known as “Waiting Behind Three Students to Get An Answer for One Basic Question,” this is where you genuinely think you’re savvy enough to get work done while sitting on what looks like a dining room chair and trying to pretend you can’t actually hear snippets of various people’s business. If you read more than two sentences, you’re probably a pro and I’m not sure why you’re reading this article. Except, maybe, that unlike the rest of us, you actually have time to read it, because you’re so savvy with your office hours.
On the Way to Class
Pro tip: if you’ve ever told yourself you can study on the way to class, the battle is already lost.
On the other hand, if you’ve mastered the art of reading and walking simultaneously, there’s a million dollar business idea there, and thousands of bibliophiles with tax return money ready in hand to purchase your expertise, so it may not matter anyway.
By the Fireplace in the Student Union
Beware the fireplace and its charms. Yes, it looks like the perfect spot: it’s warm, it’s quiet, it’s away from the general public. You sink into one of those deep leather chairs, and you swear you’ll never get up from your studies again. And you don’t. Zzz…