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Dear Editor,

One of the more light-hearted parts of home­coming week at Hillsdale College is the annual wing-eating com­pe­tition. Of all of the things that twenty-first century Amer­icans could be offended about, you’d think this would be the last. Unfor­tu­nately, that is not the case.

Last week, senior Rose Schweizer wrote to The Col­legian com­plaining about the wing-eating during Home­coming, saying “Eating con­tests do not promote school spirit but rather the spirit of gluttony. Hillsdale College pur­ports to follow the tra­dition of Aris­totle, who rec­om­mends mod­er­ation in all things. Where is the medi­ation as you devour 12 wings in three minutes?”

At Hillsdale, we worship the classics. What would Aris­totle say about eating as many wings as you can in three minutes? What layer of Dante’s hell would par­tic­i­pating in a wing-eating com­pe­tition send you to?

Such moral pos­turing is comical. Rather than running every imag­inable human activity through the Aristotle/Hillsdale litmus test, why not simply enjoy some­thing that happens only once a year and gets plenty of people pumped up with pride and spirit for their dorm, fra­ternity, or sorority?

And if that’s not your thing, then no problem. No one is forcing anybody to attend. Plus, 12 wings in three minutes? Come on. I took care of 18 wings in less time than that. It was great having guys from Gal­loway Res­i­dence behind me, cheering me on as I used the best wing-eating tech­niques I unearthed from YouTube videos earlier that day.

For wings with two bones, you grip the end of both bones tightly in one hand and pull off all the meat in one bite. For wings with just one bone, you grip both ends of the bone with both hands, dig your teeth into the wing, and rotate it, chewing off all the meat in a matter of seconds.

Call me glut­tonous. I call it fun and tasty.

Nathaniel Grime is a sophomore studying Rhetoric and Public Address.