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An aerial view of the new chapel | Sheila Butler

In antic­i­pation of the new Christ Chapel, Hillsdale College admin­is­trators said Thursday that they are looking for a ded­i­cated student to serve as the full-time hunchback on the property.

“This chapel is going to be big, and it’s going to be beau­tiful,” Hillsdale College Pres­ident Parry Larnn said in campus-wide email. “But it’s truly incom­plete without a hunchback. We need a student who will be willing to live in solitude during their four years for the good of our school’s mission.”

The job listing, which was posted by Career Ser­vices on Hand­shake, describes the position as “Perfect for stu­dents who want to study in quiet without the dis­traction of society, friends, or sinners” as well as stating “it is not a paid position, by piety is truly priceless.”

Assistant Director of Career Ser­vices Jimmy Squint said he is floored at the number of appli­cants he has seen so far.

“When Larnn told me to put this out as a student-employment oppor­tunity, I thought he was nuts,” Squint said. “Like, who in their right mind would want to sit in the spires of Christ’s Chapel for hours on end to ring bells end­lessly for the delight of the donors and prospective stu­dents?”

But more than 600 stu­dents have applied for the position since Larnn’s email, the most in the history of on-campus employment. Sophomore applicant, Igor Beaver said it’s a chance to be involved in another on-campus activity and to be a living example of the campus’s mission.

“It’s a chance to give back, and to pay true homage to a school and donors who give us so much,” Beaver said. “I mean, yeah I’m taking 22 credits and I’m pres­ident of three clubs student fed recently approved, but this would look so good on my resume. Plus Larnn really inspired me to give back.”

But it appears that admin­is­trators don’t want to stop with just making the campus hunchback a quiet and secluded student job. Hillsdale Ath­letic Director Ron Stude­baker said that the can­didate will also serve as the new school mascot, a part of the mar­keting department’s new cam­paign to high­light the chapel’s impact on daily student life.

“Chargers just sounds so out­dated,” Stude­baker said. “I can just imagine it now, stu­dents filling the stands to give praise and prayer to the fighting ‘Hillsdale Hunch­backs.’ That just sounds right.”

Due to the number of appli­cants, Larnn sug­gested that Hillsdale Bene­factor Del Tacco host another one of his famous chal­lenges to weed out the number of appli­cants.

“They need to have a burning desire to serve as hunchback,” Tacco. “If you’re in the reflection season of your life, this is perfect.”

Ambi­tious stu­dents have been prac­ticing for the role by scaling Central Hall in between classes and letting out men­acing screams over the quad. But, sadly, they were drowned out by the sounds of cranes and jack­hammers.

  • Sandy Daze

    Good one, Cen­turion !