SATIRE: College in desperate need for organ donor

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SATIRE: College in desperate need for organ donor

Hillsdale College administration seeks an organ donor for the new chapel. Chief Administrative Officer Mitch Nae Nae says he hopes the donor has a big heart and a lot to give.

“Once again, the college is in need. We’re just asking for an organ, not an arm or a leg,” Néé said. “Without it, our chapel would not be serving its function. I don’t mean to be dramatic, but without an organ, our chapel would die.”

Christ Chapel, set to be completed sometime between 2018 and 2024, will not only be Hillsdale’s second building dedicated to religious worship but also its second struggle to find an organ. After commissioning College Baptist Church in the 1900s, Hillsdale spent weeks on the organ donor list, but every time a donor came up, it wasn’t a good match.

“We were feeling very heartbroken. The donors who offered were very generous, but they just weren’t the right type,” parishioner Chief Baw Beese said. “We didn’t think our services could be filled with life if we didn’t have this vital organ.”

Several months later, however, a former parishioner who had named College Baptist in his will passed away from a heart attack, and his organ was installed weeks later.

Architect Stroik N. White said he has left a hole in the back of the chapel in anticipation of a donation. In the meantime, to keep the inside of the chapel clean, he plans to install a vacuum that will suck out dirt and airborne toxins and pump fresh air into the chapel.

“I’ve designed it to be temporary because I know God has a plan for us and have faith that a donor will come through,” White said. “In other words, it’s like a life-support system for the chapel.”