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Here at Hillsdale, we love old books. Like books in Greek. Or Latin. Or Greek and then Latin. But even if you read Greek better than Homer himself, your lin­guistic ninja skills are often pow­erless against your professor’s hand­writing. If squinting fruit­lessly at the margins of your blue book has left you befuddled, fear not: after a lengthy expe­dition in Delp, the code has been cracked. What follows are examples of pro­fessor hand­writing, trans­lated by … other pro­fessors. Native speakers, if you will. Some of the most unusual hand­writing on the hill– the cre­ative, the eclectic, and the scrawl of an over-caf­feinated doctor (of phi­losophy, that is)– is laid open to public under­standing. Read, com­prehend, and be enlightened. Or dis­mayed, depending on what those margin notes say.

 

Dr. Dutton Kearney, Associate Professor of English

His hand­writing resembles Microsoft Office’s papyrus font, in a very small font size. Dis­covered on a piece of Hillsdale sta­tionery outside his office, this quote from T.S. Eliot is one of his favorites.

 

Dr. Dwight Lindley, Assistant Professor of English

Known throughout campus for having his own font, Dr. Lindley’s fun and cre­ative hand­writing gives that same T.S. Eliot quote some serious per­son­ality.

 

Dr. Justin Jackson, Professor of English

Admit it, we all struggled a little bit with the word “unat­tractive” in this one. The quote is from the Brothers Kara­mazov.

 

Dr. John Somerville, Professor of English

This is why having a trans­lator on the inside is helpful. Pro­fessors can rec­ognize that the quote is from the Brothers Kara­mazov, so you don’t have to figure out that it says “unat­tractive.” Phew.

 

Dr. Eric Hutchinson, Associate Professor of Classics

His hand­writing matches his hair. That is all.

 

Dr. Ryan Hutchinson, Associate Professor of Mathematics

Sibling rivalry. The dif­ference between classics and math. We report, you decide.

 

Dr. David Stewart, Professor of History

Small, compact. Probably isn’t making you feel better about your own hand­writing in your blue book.

 

Dr. Jordan Wales, Assistant Professor of Theology

Most wedding invi­ta­tions don’t have script this beau­tiful.

 

Dr. Kevin Teegarden, Associate Professor of Spanish 

A fairytale told in remarkable cursive. Remarkable pri­marily because it’s cursive at all.

 

Dr. Fred Yaniga, Associate Professor of German

In Germany, job appli­cants have to hand­write their resumes so their future bosses can judge them based on their hand­writing. We’re guessing Dr. Yaniga got hired.

 

Dr. Christopher Busch, Professor of English

Thank­fully, we didn’t have to spend two years beside a pond to find meaning in this quote. We just had to ride the ele­vator to the fourth floor.

 

Dr. Kelly Franklin, Assistant Professor of English

Lives on the fourth floor.

 

Dr. Benedict Whalen, Assistant Professor of English

The greatest of all con­tests may be to protect the soul, but the eyes are the windows to the soul. And cursive is hard on them some­times.

 

Dr. Richard Gamble, Professor of History

Just look at that slant. The evenness. The clarity. Your ele­mentary-school pen­manship teacher just might follow in the steps of Leonardo da Vinci’s painting instructor and never write again.

 

Dr. Michael Beyer, Sage Center Production Manager

The back­wards hooks on the letters make your brain feels like it’s reading left-to-right and right-to-left at the same time.

 

Dr. Matthew Gaetano, Assistant Professor of History

Picked the exact same quote as Dr. Beyer, com­pletely by accident. How’s that for cross-depart­mental overlap. Dr. Kalthoff once said that he remembers this hand­writing from back when he used to read it in blue books.

 

Dr. Daniel Coupland, Associate Professor of Education

Anybody with hand­writing this clear belongs in edu­cation. A kid could learn to read this by age 3.

 

Dr. Michael Jordan, Professor of English

His hand­writing doesn’t seem to like cemented bound­aries any better than Gillian Rose.

 

Dr. Lorraine Murphy, Associate Professor of English

Her hand­writing seems to be han­dling those cemented bound­aries just fine.

 

Dr. Paul Rahe, Professor of History

His quote choice says it all. To translate it would be to lose the original meaning of the text.