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Guys at Hillsdale need to remember that per­sis­tence is not always a virtue.

Some of Hillsdale’s men act with a relentless sense of deter­mi­nation when it comes to asking girls on dates. Often obsessed with being gen­tlemen of the highest degree, they seem to think that per­sis­tence is the key to winning a woman’s heart. However, this makes them seem much more like a Mr. Collins rather than the Mr. Darcy they aspire to be.

Hillsdale fosters a unique, future-driven men­tality that many men on campus adopt quickly and pas­sion­ately. Far too often, women — and the art of suc­cess­fully wooing them — are treated as just another item on guys’ checklist of things they came to accom­plish before grad­u­ation — Pursue the Good, the True, the Beau­tiful, and the Woman.

(Watch out: Women can just as easily fall prey to the fervent search for a spouse!)

Rela­tion­ships are not a game and aggressive tactics hurt real people. Men who refuse to take no for an answer embarrass them­selves and leave girls in awkward sit­u­a­tions. No matter how bluntly a woman may put her rejection, per­sistent suitors seem not to com­prehend her clear “No,” or if they do com­prehend it they do not heed it. These repeated advances make daily inter­ac­tions on campus awkward and humil­i­ating for girls wanting to just be friends. A kind-hearted Hills­dalian woman can feel quite ter­rible as she turns down good friends repeatedly, then has to face them reg­u­larly in the context of a small campus com­munity.

Although such men may have every intent of being respect­fully deter­mined, the way it makes the woman they choose to pursue feel is any­thing but pleasant. These com­plaints are not a rarity — so many girls have reported being doggedly pursued that it stands out as an egre­gious problem.

Hillsdale College has a dis­tinct envi­ronment and culture, some­thing that its stu­dents should embrace and enjoy. However, how they approach dating and rela­tion­ships should reflect the com­munity in which it takes place. At some cam­puses, women bemoan the lack of coura­geous, ini­ti­ating men — thank­fully, Hillsdale doesn’t have that problem. Unfor­tu­nately, though, a Hills­dalian woman faces a rejection fatigue  that women at other schools may not: too many bold and per­sistent suitors.

The small size of Hillsdale’s student body creates a very tight-knit com­munity — a special and trea­sured aspect of this college. But it also means that, when a girl says no to a date, she is fully aware he is either a friend or someone she will see around reg­u­larly. Unlike larger schools where the chances of running into someone more than once are rare, people see each other enough every day to get a decent under­standing of their char­acter.

The quality and char­acter of the men on campus can and should be applauded. Their inten­tions are almost always pure. But the way their relentless pursuit of a lifelong partner can make women feel is far from edi­fying. Because of their good hearts, it is vital that they under­stand this and alter their ways quickly.

The moral of the story, Men of Hillsdale, is that you cannot start a rela­tionship on such a short and aggressive timeline —you need to slow down, be patient, look for hints and clues, and woo more ten­ta­tively at first. Stop trying to win a woman, and start enjoying your sisters for who they are —you may be sur­prised to find the wooing becomes far simpler and more enjoyable.

  • Charles Stockdale

    Did you just advocate hills­dating?