The plumbing in Simpson Res­i­dence first floor South expe­ri­enced serious com­pli­ca­tions over this weekend.

Freshmen Matthew Has­treiter and Nick Brown, who live in room 103, were about to go to church Sunday morning when their sink erupted and, in the words of freshman Mitch Rayer, “sploodged every­where.”

Has­treiter said that exactly 10:08 a.m., “sludge” shot two feet in the air and brown water began rising in the sink.

“Our tooth­brushes were adul­terated,” Brown said.

Brown went to Walmart to buy drain cleaner while Has­treiter ran to tell senior Jack Hummel, Simpson’s head res­ident assistant, about the dis­aster. Hummel sug­gested they call security.

Mean­while, freshman William Bird, another 1FS res­ident, said he broke into the main­te­nance closet to retrieve buckets to bail out the rising water.

Main­te­nance arrived and began bailing buckets of black sludge outside, but could not keep up with the overflow.

They brought the sludge to the room across the hall and deposited it into the toilet. Rayer said their toilet no longer flushes properly. The main­te­nance men managed to unclog the drain – just before the sink exploded a second time.

“All the sewage in Hillsdale county came through our sink,” Has­treiter said.

“Like a lateral volcano,” Brown said.

The new eruption was caused by people show­ering on the floor above Room 103, so freshman Clayton Josiah ran upstairs to tell the upper halls to stop show­ering.

“It looked like poop,” Has­treiter said.

“And smelled like burnt poop wrapped in hair,” Rayer added.

It took until 4 p.m. for the main­te­nance men to fix the problem and then they spent two hours cleaning the room, cutting out the carpet in front of the sink and san­i­tizing the sur­rounding area, Has­treiter said.

He said the problem appeared to be fixed until he and Brown were sitting doing homework at 10 p.m. A gur­gling noise warned the room­mates some­thing was amiss, and the sink began filling with water once again.

Brown started bailing water with a trashcan as Has­treiter again told the upper halls to dis­con­tinue their showers.

Main­te­nance came again Monday morning around 7:30 a.m., but when Has­treiter returned he said their room had been “des­e­crated.”

“My exact words were, ‘Oh no, oh no, oh man, oh man.’ There were tarps on the floor filled with the black sludge.”

Their sink was removed and they had to empty their rooms while they tem­porarily live with other Simpson res­i­dents.

“At least we are getting new flooring,” Brown said, “And a custom sink – Chief [Jeff Rogers, asso­ciate dean of men] said we might even get a plaque.”

Rayer said the moral of the story is simple – through it all, 1FS sticks together with no brother left behind. The young men agreed with Rayer, and Has­treiter said he was thankful for the help.

“In all seri­ousness, I am very thankful that the main­te­nance crew spent upwards of five hours on a Sunday afternoon helping us out.”