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Dear Kate,

I recently got engaged. While it’s nice to have finally taken that big step, it’s very hard to be in the state of rela­tionship limbo now. The next step is mar­riage, and until then I feel like we’ve plateaued! Mean­while, I’m swamped with wedding plans along with my school work. To make every­thing worse, my single friends don’t offer much sym­pathy. How do I cope during this ter­rible waiting period?

Thanks,

Very Impa­tient

 

Dear Impa­tient,

Life is hard for everyone. Some people are poor, some people have bad health, others are just lonely. For­tu­nately for you, you’re biggest problem is the stress of waiting and planning for the hap­piest day of your life. I don’t under­stand you people. You’ve found your soulmate, you’ve got someone by your side who will stick with you in thick and thin, and yet you still want the rest of the world to cry with you when every­thing isn’t just perfect for the two of you. Life is never easy, I know that. I know that all of your problems don’t vanish when you fall in love. But stop rubbing your hap­piness in other people’s face and calling it misery! You’re just impa­tient. How spoiled are you when you have to com­plain about waiting a few months to get what you want. It’s like a child whining because Christmas doesn’t come soon enough. It’s annoying! We’re all happy for you. Now be happy for yourself. And that goes for everyone in rela­tion­ships, not just those of you who are engaged. Use the time of waiting to practice dis­ci­pline. There will be incredibly hard times during your mar­riage, no need to man­u­facture some right now. You’re in college, you’re in love, you’ve got it all —or at least you’ve got what counts: good friends, time to read good books, and a won­derful person by your side. Make up your mind about the flowers at your wedding (because that’s your biggest issue to deal with) and ask your single friends about them for a change, rather than moaning about your own minuscule problems, like being engaged.